I'm Loving that Aiden and I are finally feeling much better.
I'm Loving that this weekend is full of fun for us, birthday party and a Halloween party.
I'm loving that even with all the bad luck my family has had they are still some what positive.
I'm loving that it's almost November and we are going home for Thanksgiving.
I'm Loving that in a few weeks I might finally meet Danny's older sister and her family.
I'm Loving that I've met some awesome ladies here in Lawton, and was introduced to Bunco. I'm Hooked.
I'm Loving & Missing My Dad!
Five years ago today we were told the worst news we would ever have to hear. You have been killed by an IED (improvised explosive device). You were only gone a month, this could not be you, they made a mistake. After the men in uniform told us the news time went by so fast. We were all so lost and confused. Mom had to sign all kinds of papers, and make decisions so fast. We were not ready for this. People were coming from all over to pay their respects, and so many people were there to help. However family truly is the only we should ever care about because that's all we have left. Friends stopped showing up, and caring. I hate that you are gone!
Still till this day I get by only because I trick myself into believing you’re just overseas, your working since this is something I was use to because of the army. On bad days when reality hits me, I just remind myself that you went out loving what you did. You told me a week before you left that god has a plan and no one knows it. The example you used was that when you’re born you have a number, and one day it will be your turn. You were not afraid when you left. Just a few months earlier you went into surgery to get a tumor removed from the front of your brain, and survived. So I believe you knew it was your time, but God waited so you could go out a hero, and not on an operating table. That was our second scare of losing you and you were strong and always came back home. I Miss you.
Danny was in basic and I was excited about you and him having something in common. Then once you were gone I hated the idea of Danny being in the Army, I wanted the time to rewind. He went to Iraq soon after you passed; I believe it was 5 or 6 months later. I was not ready!!! That tour was hard because I truly believed he was not gonna make it. No one could ring the door bell or I would flip out. I changed into a panicked crazy woman, still working on trying to calm down. However, Danny is an amazing soldier, and you would be proud.
So much has happened in five years; never in a million years would I have guessed our lives being the way they are. Danny and I got married and have a son named Aiden Lee Miller. He looks a lot like Danny but I can see a lot of you in him as well. We gave him your middle name, wanted to carry a piece of you with us all the time. You would love him, he's a fire ball! I can't wait to tell him about you. It's hard going to the cemetery with him because he has no idea that we are visiting his grandpa, but one day he will know. You know I wish I knew what you wanted to be called. We were all so young, grandkids is something we did not talk much about. Danny is still in the Army and has done two tours now. Praying that he won't have to go anymore. I see him staying in for career; please send me the strength to get through this army life. I have no idea how you and mom did this. Mom and the girls are good, we all still have some things we struggle with but hoping this will be the year it all finally gets better. We need a good year. We lost you, then opa, and then oma, and mom needs to be happy again.
Melissa has two kids, Isabell the miracle baby because we did not know she was coming into our lives until the day she arrived, and then there is Johnny, we knew he was coming because Melissa had a belly this time. Laura has one baby girl Ariyanna and a boy on the way, the family has just grown quickly. Those two are some baby makers. Haha took me a year to have one. Nina no kids :) will be graduating early this year, so that's awesome!! I don't want to go into detail about the girls that's something I would want them to do. It's feels good writing you a letter, and hope somehow someway you get this. There is so much I could write, but going to stop it here. I just wanted to update you a little, but I;m sure you are looking down on us and know all this already. I miss you everyday. I LOVE YOU!